Remember to Play With Your Kids

After five years and 300 interviews, Sherry Turkle, director of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Initiative on Technology and Self, has found that children of parents who are continually online via smartphones, computers or multimedia devices often express feelings of "hurt, jealousy and competition." Turkle says, "Over and over, kids raised the same three examples of feeling hurt and not wanting to show it when their mom or dad would be on their devices instead of paying attention to them: at meals, during pickup after either school or an extracurricular activity, and during sports events." 
 
[nytimes.com, 6/9/10]

 

It's Father's Day

Why Don't We Just Dance - Josh Turner

Mary and I love this song and this video.
We love to dance in our kitchen with our kids around us.

Josh does a great job with this song. Enjoy the video, kick off your shoes and start dancing with your wife.

The Routine of a Father

I guess some of us like schedules and some of us don't.  It really depends on our personality, right?

Some of us, if given the choice could sleep in to 10AM or later every day.  
Some of us couldn't think of sleeping past 6 o'clock.
Some of us have no problem letting our lawns grow a foot before we cut them.
Some of us couldn't imagine having anything but a "golf course" for our back yard.


Choices.
Regular choices.
It's those choices that weave us through each day from start to finish.  When I was a child, I chose things that were young.  Now that I am older, I am hopefully making wiser choices.


Being married and having kids, I have had to learn to make wise choices.  Not just for myself, but for my family as well.  I have not just had to make those choices, but I had to choose to put myself into a routine of making right choices.


For my family, those choices look something like this:

1. Wake up early.
2. Talk with Mary.  Now this is a conditional one.  Sometimes Mary wants to talk and sometimes she doesn't.  I want her to have her time to wake up.  She doesn't need me telling her what to do at 5:45 in the AM.
3. Exercise.  This too is conditional.  There was a period in my life that I couldn't exercise.  Not because I was lazy, but because there were other priorities that needed to take place.  I must confess though, that for a long time, I did exercise and leave Mary to do so much work alone.  I was completely selfish during that time.  So look at your time to work out only if you have the time for it.
4. Personal quiet time.  Not in some book, but in THE BOOK.  The enemy hates us.  Hates me.  Hates you.  Hates all of our relationships.  Hates our marriages.  Hates our children.  He has three goals in mind - to kill, steal and destroy.  The only way to withstand the fiery arrows of the devil is to be in the Bible.  David said, "Your Word have I hid in my heart that I may not sin against You."  I take that as saying that to keep from sinning, I must be in the Word.  
5. Get myself ready for the day.
6. Breakfast with the family.
7. Devotions with the family.  Take the time for this.  We have the ability to set the tone for the whole day with this action.  It doesn't take much time, but you just have to do it.  Your wife will be reminded of what is important.  Your kids will be reminded of what's important to you as well.
8. Work.  While at work take time to pray.  Short prayers are still prayers.
9. Home from work, lovingly set the leadership role in your home.  Take the time to listen.  See what needs to be done and who needs to be served.  Don't just become a kid again and start rolling on the floor waiting for dinner to be served.  Take the time to listen to your wife.  She, more than likely, needs to talk to another adult.  So just shut up and listen to her.  She will love you for it.  Keep in mind that you are not your wife's "helper" you are the leader of your home.
10. Dinner.  Converse with your family.  Ask them questions about their day.  Enjoy each other.  Eat. Laugh. Love.
11. Devotions the family.  This is how we do it in our family.  For breakfast and dinner.  Again, it helps to remind the whole family what is truly important. 
12. Clean up.  Men - that's our job.  Let your wife have a break.  She has been "cleaning up" all day.  She will be grateful.
13. Play and interact with the kids.  They will think you are amazing!
14. Put the kids to bed.  Men - again our job.  Spend some more time thinking about the Lord or singing worship songs with your kids.  They will now what is in your heart.
15. Love your wife well.  Serve her by making sure that all the responsible things are taking care of.  Laundry, bills, groceries, house maintenance (honey-do-list)...

Now this is how it's done in our home, and your home may look completely different.   That is OK.  As the head of the household, I had to realize that I needed to get into a routine as a husband, as a father, as a leader.  If I didn't, what would be the alternative?

Have you figured out your routine?  If so, what is it?  I would love to see how you manage your family and your day.

Thoughts on Fathers Day

So this Sunday is Father's Day.  Just so everyone knows, I am all for celebrating fathers on Father's Day, but I have an idea.

Men, what if on this Father's Day we turned it around.  Instead of making it all about us, we made it all about them?

This Sunday, do something radical - surprise your family!

Fear or Joy

When I was young, our family would often take trips from Oregon to Michigan to be with our extended family.  This, of course, was a blast.  We were able to participate in so many things that we normally didn't or wouldn't back in Oregon.

One of those "things" I remember vividly.  It was a trip to a lake with my aunt and uncle and their kids.  The adults decided to make a day out of it, so we brought along a lunch and a bunch of snacks.  Swimsuits, water toys and my uncle's boat.  This was going to be a great day!

After a while of being there, we all decided that it would be fun to go around the lake taking turns on the toboggan.  So we all got in the boat and one by one, everyone started taking their turns. 

Then... it was my turn...

As a nine or ten year old who hadn't experienced much of inland lakes, I was a bit timid terrified.  I couldn't see through the water.  I couldn't see the bottom.  Would the fish in the lake touch me...  I was getting freaked.  I was not going to be riding the toboggan. 

I WAS SCARED TO DEATH.

My uncle, on the other hand known better.  He picked me up and threw me in the water.  I went kicking and screaming.  He then jumped in after me, grabbed me and forced me to get on the toboggan with him.  I was yelling over and over again that I didn't want to go.

He kept telling me that I was going to be fine.  That there was nothing to be afraid of.

The boat started out.
The rope got tight.
We raised up out of the water.
We took off.

Once we were around the small lake once, I asked him if we could go around the lake a second time.

My fear turned to joy.

Sometimes, that's a little what it's like in following Christ. 
Often times, we have no idea where He is taking us. 
What He are doing. 
How far we will go. 
Why we are here...
and we look down at our feet and start to fear.

There is where I am.  Between the fear and the joy.  Perhaps this is where I will be until glory.  To be honest, I have to say that in every time that I have gone into the unknown with Christ, I have never been disappointed.

And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”
He said, “Come.”
So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.”
Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
(Matthew 14:28-33 ESV)

  I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
(3 John 1:4 ESV)

Change = Pain / Pain = Change

None of us really changes until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain that will come with some change in our lives. We don’t change when we see the light, we change when we feel the heat. (Mike Pollard)

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. (The Apostle Paul in his book Romans)

Treasure Christ