The Routine of a Father

I guess some of us like schedules and some of us don't.  It really depends on our personality, right?

Some of us, if given the choice could sleep in to 10AM or later every day.  
Some of us couldn't think of sleeping past 6 o'clock.
Some of us have no problem letting our lawns grow a foot before we cut them.
Some of us couldn't imagine having anything but a "golf course" for our back yard.


Choices.
Regular choices.
It's those choices that weave us through each day from start to finish.  When I was a child, I chose things that were young.  Now that I am older, I am hopefully making wiser choices.


Being married and having kids, I have had to learn to make wise choices.  Not just for myself, but for my family as well.  I have not just had to make those choices, but I had to choose to put myself into a routine of making right choices.


For my family, those choices look something like this:

1. Wake up early.
2. Talk with Mary.  Now this is a conditional one.  Sometimes Mary wants to talk and sometimes she doesn't.  I want her to have her time to wake up.  She doesn't need me telling her what to do at 5:45 in the AM.
3. Exercise.  This too is conditional.  There was a period in my life that I couldn't exercise.  Not because I was lazy, but because there were other priorities that needed to take place.  I must confess though, that for a long time, I did exercise and leave Mary to do so much work alone.  I was completely selfish during that time.  So look at your time to work out only if you have the time for it.
4. Personal quiet time.  Not in some book, but in THE BOOK.  The enemy hates us.  Hates me.  Hates you.  Hates all of our relationships.  Hates our marriages.  Hates our children.  He has three goals in mind - to kill, steal and destroy.  The only way to withstand the fiery arrows of the devil is to be in the Bible.  David said, "Your Word have I hid in my heart that I may not sin against You."  I take that as saying that to keep from sinning, I must be in the Word.  
5. Get myself ready for the day.
6. Breakfast with the family.
7. Devotions with the family.  Take the time for this.  We have the ability to set the tone for the whole day with this action.  It doesn't take much time, but you just have to do it.  Your wife will be reminded of what is important.  Your kids will be reminded of what's important to you as well.
8. Work.  While at work take time to pray.  Short prayers are still prayers.
9. Home from work, lovingly set the leadership role in your home.  Take the time to listen.  See what needs to be done and who needs to be served.  Don't just become a kid again and start rolling on the floor waiting for dinner to be served.  Take the time to listen to your wife.  She, more than likely, needs to talk to another adult.  So just shut up and listen to her.  She will love you for it.  Keep in mind that you are not your wife's "helper" you are the leader of your home.
10. Dinner.  Converse with your family.  Ask them questions about their day.  Enjoy each other.  Eat. Laugh. Love.
11. Devotions the family.  This is how we do it in our family.  For breakfast and dinner.  Again, it helps to remind the whole family what is truly important. 
12. Clean up.  Men - that's our job.  Let your wife have a break.  She has been "cleaning up" all day.  She will be grateful.
13. Play and interact with the kids.  They will think you are amazing!
14. Put the kids to bed.  Men - again our job.  Spend some more time thinking about the Lord or singing worship songs with your kids.  They will now what is in your heart.
15. Love your wife well.  Serve her by making sure that all the responsible things are taking care of.  Laundry, bills, groceries, house maintenance (honey-do-list)...

Now this is how it's done in our home, and your home may look completely different.   That is OK.  As the head of the household, I had to realize that I needed to get into a routine as a husband, as a father, as a leader.  If I didn't, what would be the alternative?

Have you figured out your routine?  If so, what is it?  I would love to see how you manage your family and your day.

The Biggest Loser

Ok, I have to admit this. I am a fan of NBC's The Biggest Loser.

I know, I know, you all are probably saying, "Isn't there something better that you could be watching on TV?"

Well, what can I say? I like the show. I like the weigh ins, I like the "last chance workout" scenes, I like the challenges. I like the show. A lot.

In fact, I like it so much that many times I find myself in tears during each episode. Doesn't that sound strange?

Let me explain. When I watch this show, I can not help but see how this parallels a spiritual walk. These "contestants" are on a specific mission. They have a goal in mind - to loose weight. Together. They know that they can't do it alone. They recognize where they have come from and where they are going.

To some extent, isn't that similar to our journey? Are we not on a specific mission? (To walk in a Christ-like manner). Do we not have a goal in mind? (To make the name of Christ more known). Are we not in community? (The family of God, the Bride of Christ). We do not have to look very far or hard to see where are "past" is. (Once a slave to sin, now a slave to righteousness). And we know that He who began a good work in us will complete it. (Sanctification).

Then Bob and Jullian say:
"Don't give up..."
"I am not leaving you here..."
"I see a champion here..."
"Your family needs you..."
"You are strong..."
"Choose to live..."
"Do it..."
"Focus my friend..."
"Good job..."

Those are the words that we need to be giving each other. To some extent, we are all coaching each other in this life.
We need to.
I want to be in your life and I want you to be in mine.

So here are my thoughts on how this can work in our Christian walk:

• Don't give up reading the Bible. It really is our power source. We can't live without it.
• Your family needs you. They need you to be strong. They need you to lead them in following Christ. Husbands, lead your wives. Wives, lead your husbands. Parents, lead your children. Young adults, lead your peers.
• Pray. Realize that you are not alone, because He is with you.
  
• Choose your life in Christ. You have been crucified with Him, now live in His resurrection.

2 Timothy 6:11-12
Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Family Worship/Devotions

For years, Mary and I have struggled (struggled may be too harsh of a word here) with how to lead our family in worship. At home. Together. The eight of us.

Some families have designated time together, perhaps at the breakfast table, dinner table, in the late evening when all are in the house. I don't believe the time nor the setting is important, as much as just doing it is.

I think some families really try to utilize Sunday morning as a time for this as well. Sometimes that just doesn't work. It's hard enough trying to get everyone's hair combed, braided, brushed; teeth brushed; matching socks; cereal inhaled; coffee drunk--who has time for family devotions/worship on a Sunday morning.

Again the goal is to not be ridged, but to really enjoy your family as you talk about God. Seek His presence. Magnify His name. Pray.

With that in mind, I would like to make a few suggestions that may help you get a start on the right foot.

1. Start with the Bible. It's the one primary source for family worship/devotions. You may use other resources, but let me tell you, all other items must point you and your family back to the Bible. We are supposed to be people of the Word and without the Word in our lives on a regular basis, we will find ourselves empty.
2. Some recent books have been written that deal with family worship/devotions. I have utilized some of these and would highly recommend them to you. First one is Training Hearts, Teaching Minds, by Starr Meade. Mary and I have used this book for a number of years. It was well written and good for families with smaller children. A few other books on raising Godly children are: Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp, Stand Fast by Doug Bond, Standing on the Promises and Future Men both by Doug Wilson.
3. One of the hardest to find is music. We all like different styles, tempos, arrangements. So rather than saying what I use, I will just list some web sites that would be great resources for family worship. In fact some of these I even use in my private worship times. In no particular order -- Sovereign Grace Music - great contemporary music with a heart for the exalted Christ at it's core. Indelible Grace - hymns with the melody rewritten in more of a singer/songwriter style. Birthed out of the RUF ministry these songs have been making great strides on university campus' world wide. Red Mountain Music - worship music featured from Red Mountain Church in Birmingham Alabama. PAGE CXVI - ancient words with modern music, all of them being hymns. Seeds Family Worship - these guys have been putting music to Scripture for a few years now Sojourn Music - This is one resource that I have just discovered and have thoroughly enjoyed. Even my kids have loved it. Basic concept of Sojourn Music is that they take various lyrics from hymns and utilizing their themes rewriting the music. Great stuff as I have posted before.

In closing, I would like to bring a reminder from Proverbs 22:6 --
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."