The Talent of Doublespeaking

I am so talented.

I have the ability to talk out of both sides of my mouth.

Can you do that too?

As I look within my heart to identify this problem, I am noticing a trend.  I don't really do it out in the general, meaning I feel free to be honest and truthful over "public" issues or items.  The problem is much deeper than that.

I am finding that I doublespeak to and about those closest to me...

my kids

my wife

my Savior

In doing so I make a mockery of both them and myself.  

So on this day, I am thankful for the grace of Christ that covers both the praise and the profane.

Jesus Gave Up Everything For His Bride.

Here is a familiar story…

I just wanted to be heard.  Is that really too much to ask?  For once in my life, I just wanted to have to share what I have been through and all of my junk… and she wanted nothing to do with it.

It’s not too much to ask for, is it?  What about all my problems?

My bad day…

Job going bad…

Friends being weird…

This is not what I planned for…

My past…

Oh sure, I HAD to listen to her, but why wouldn’t she listen to me?

Classic story, right men?  Often times it seems as if we have to listen, a lot, and our wives, not so much.

Here is the truth, our marriages are supposed to reflect the relationship that Jesus has with his bride.  Some would even say that they DO reflect it.  Now I know, I know – how can we truly reflect something that is impossible to reach?  After all, we are not Jesus.  We are not perfect.  We can’t truly love and cherish our wives like He does the church.

That command is not an excuse.  Nor a crutch.  We are not exempt from attempting at what the gospel declares. 

Picture this:  Jesus came to court his bride and did so by washing her with His Word.

He gave up His glory for us.

He had to remove His crown for us.

He couldn’t talk to His Father face to face.

He didn’t have the fellowship of the Trinity.

He was not in Heaven.

He was living among sin.

He was being tempted to sin.  Continually.

He was not being worshiped like He should.

He had the pressure of the world on Him.

He knew the physical pain that His life was leading to.

He knew the emotional pain that His life was leading to.

He knew the spiritual pain that His life was leading to.

And not once did he complain to His bride.

In fact, he did the opposite. 

John 13:4-10 “He laid aside His outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around His waist. Then He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around Him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean…”

I know that our first thought is to share our _________ (fill in the blank here) with our wives and tell them how hard our life is, but what our wives really need is for us to just wash their feet.

That’s all, just wash their feet.

For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross (Col. 1:19–20).

Questions to Ask Yourself/Self Evaluation

As we go through life, some of us will do self-evaluation exercises with ease. Others of us would prefer to dig deep. The following is a list of questions that we should periodically be asking ourselves. How about now? Take the time to go through the list, you may hit on something that needs a little spiritual work.

Husbands and Wives:

• Did you love your spouse by putting love for Christ in front of the love for them?
• Did you pray for your spouse?

Singles:

• Did you support the married families in the church?
• Did you provide positive discipleship to those younger than you?

Married:

• Did you show the singles a positive view of marriage?
• Did you provide positive discipleship to those younger than you?

Husbands:

• Did you display sold Christian leadership in the home?
• If your wife is an unbeliever, did you pray for her salvation?
• If your wife is a believer, did you pray for her to grow in her sanctification?
• Did you show love to your wife?
• Did you meet the emotional and physical needs of your wife, placing her above yourself?

Wives:

• Did you submit to your husbands spiritual leadership?
• If your husband is an unbeliever, did you pray for his salvation?
• If your husband is a believer, did you pray for him to grow in his sanctification?
• Did you show respect to your husband, encouraging him, meeting his emotional and physical needs and placing his needs above yours?

Singles:

• Did you pray about whether you are called to marry?
• Did you pray for your future spouse?
• Did you find full sufficiency in Jesus alone?
• Have you been selfless in your relationships with your closest friends?

Parents:

• Did you demonstrate the love of Christ and His grace to your children?
• Did you spend time this week teaching your children about the greatness of Jesus?
• Was your life a confirmation of the Gospel for your children this week?

Children:

• Were you obedient to your parents this week?
• Did you attempt to live at peace with your siblings?

All:

• Did you spend regular time in prayer this week?
• Did you spend regular time in the Bible this week?
• Did you do your best to make Christ your treasure this week?
• Did you, at any point, allow something besides Christ to be your treasure this week? What was that thing? How will you (or did you) deal with this?
• What ministry are you serving in this week? At church?
• Did you share Christ with anyone this week?
• Who are you actively attempting to share Christ with?
• Who are some friends you are praying that will meet Christ?
• Did you give undue emphasis to money this week (spending recklessly, worrying constantly, being stingy)?
• Were you sexually pure this week? Did you guard your heart, mind and eyes?
• Did you attend church this week?
• Did you seek to connect with others in the body this week?
• Did you support the church with time and/or money this week?
• Did you seek out friendship and fellowship with church members this week?
• Are you letting other members of the body of Christ speak into your life?
• Have you confessed your sin to the Lord?
• Were you dependable?